Look down

As a kid I was always told to look up

 watch your step

 don't look down or you'll trip and fall

grownups say the stupidest things

 often what was on the ground was more interesting than then the surroundings!

forever an expert at avoiding the cracks in the pavement

skipping or jumping over them

 

There are all kinds of cool stuff on the ground

bugs, bottle caps, rocks, feathers 

 not to mention money

money to buy a piece of candy at the kiosk

 these days I find dimes on the ground

aware that dad drops a few from heaven 

so that I know he's watching me

Magic

Reading Pippi Longstockings as a child and to my kids

a particular chapter I loved- when Pippi taught Annika and Tommy to become a "thing finders"

when out with my kids and the distance became to long for their short little legs

I challenged them to become "thing finders"

which turned the whole walk into something fun

scouring for treasures

These days I do it for myself especially when my camera takes me for a walk

 Montana is still really grey makes the surroundings rather bland

so I look I down.

On my walk I found rocks displayed into interesting designs

compliments of mother nature

Lichen, delicate yet rugged

the perfect balance

the lime blends so beautiful with the greens and teal-

I get inspired to knit a sweater when I see the colors and texture it offers

contrasting with pretty whites and pinks of the birch tree

Lilly’s soft cream colored tail against the brown pebbles and the debris

The pitter patter of rain drops on the asphalt – also a secret favorite smell of mine

wet asphalt

I found a spot where fairies live in the “Moss Woods"

snuck up on one or two as they were gathering some fire wood

my last shot do you see what happened?

A Viking split a stone in two while in  fierce battle

..it's all true.

look down you might see some magic too

Perfection kills creativity

Have no fear of perfection — you'll never reach it.
~ Salvador Dali

 Perfection kills creativity.

 I have been noticing especially this year 2016 how much perfection is a “bully” how it kill’s joy and creativity in my life, let me explain.
 As a knitter I find some yarn (I go for the yarn first) then find a pattern, I try to pair them up both as best as I can, because I never do anything by the book….then as the sweater progress the angst sets in. I see that this is not perfect. I have knit the body and as the sleeves are coming along it’s either not enough yarn or the yarn I chose doesn’t look as good as I thought it would.

And it becomes another half knit sweater in the half knit grave yard.

Pattern, something I look to for inspiration and also seek perfection- if I only use this lovely pattern it will be perfect. But it doesn’t. It’s no fun when this disappointment strikes again. As a kid I never used patterns and I wore every gosh darn sweater I knit- because I wasn’t seeking perfection I was creating, enjoying that process. And that was the journey not the end goal- perfect.

I tried out baking for some time this fall I even enrolled in a fancy French pastry school online. The pictures looked perfect, I checked my ingredients once, twice three times to make sure the measurements where correct too. It truly is a miracle I have any hair left on my head after pulling out locks at a time. The cookies, cakes, puff pastry N.E.V.E.R came out as expected, they were either taste less, undercooked or could be used at building material (hard as a brick). When I was a kid baking was fun, mom and I would bake “boller” or something easy and even if it wasn’t the prettiest sweet rolls in town- it was still pretty sweet because again I wasn’t looking for perfection-  I enjoyed the warm soft cardamom flavored buns with hot cocoa....and whip cream.

 

I am also finding this now as I have started to paint. I am petrified of screwing up- making the ugliest marks on my canvas- even starting a canvas I feel as if I need a good shot of whiskey or two.

What is with this???
 It’s a white cloth stretched over a wood frame and I am too scared to touch it with paint in fear of not being good enough- so I either verbally beat myself up or I walk away with my heading low 
-from something that is supposed to be fun and enlightening not to mention creative!

 " Thank you perfection for draining all that is good in my life – creativity."

 So I gave up!
- I can’t win.

Perfection is simply unattainable.
IT'S SO FREEING!

  As I am knitting a red & pink sweater-  you know, these colors “don’t go together” there is really no pattern to this sweater so I am just having fun, though a mindless easy knit- it is giving me pleasure to sit and knit listening to music or talking with my kids instead of counting stiches and tensing up for the probability of a crappy end result.

Baking – even though I have a few good recipes I found a fabby lemon pound cake ( box cake)  Krusteaz, takes 5 min. and we all have something wonderfully lemony and yummy to enjoy with our tea.
I don’t really care anymore- I make the cakes that I know and bake well or the simple cookies-
Not here to impress any one and man, it’s such a relief.
My kids compliment me on the baked goods and that’s all that matter anyway- weather it’s from scratch or a box.

Now the painting- well that’s tough- I see it and myself as a work in progress…baby steps. Lots color exploration and marks what will become of it, I don’t know – challenge is good.

I try to ease up and let myself go…slow and steady wins the race.

 

I will get off my soap box now, thank you for reading.

May you all enjoy a most beautiful creative day as you see it.
 

You see, when weaving a blanket, an Indian woman leaves a flaw in the weaving of that blanket to let the soul out.

~Martha Graham

 

 

 

Red and Pink don't go together

Red and Pink don’t go together.

 That’s what I have been told since I could dress myself.

No matter what crazy outfit I put together, mainly to delight other folks with my fashion sense and style.
My mamma always told me in Swedish “Red and pink don’t go together”
Who made these rules?

 They happen to be my favorite colors why not put them together and get a double color blast?
Why couldn’t she see how beautifully red and pink paired together?

Have you ever noticed how lovely parrot tulips are, if you are unfamiliar with them, these are the larger of the tulips that have the delicate frilly petal edges…very parrot-esque, my favorite, the red and pink ones…that is, the combination of the hot red and the soft pink …swoon.

My husband kindly gifts me these lovelies each time they are in season.

Valentines day happens to be one of my favorite holidays- mainly because we have an opportunity to celebrate love.

 …and its colorful people!

That’s’ right, red and pink together in hearts, flowers and beautiful color wrapped chocolate.  Strolling thru a Hallmark store and seeing all the pretty displays of red and pink heart décor and the brightly colored cards, especially in the dark of winter Montana, uplifting.

Makes me feel like a kid again, remember those cute little homemade cards and the themed little cards that you would attach a little sweet and give your little friends in school? I loved that.

Why is it ok for a card to be red and pink?

 As a grown up my two favorite cord jeans are actually a pair of red and a pink pair - usually worn with a long sleeved t-shirt in opposing color-(channeling my 11-year-old)

 I know…I’m quite the rebel, sorry mamma.

Even my kids give me grief. Really mom?
I have even pushed it so far that I actually dyed these beautiful skeins from a local sheep farmer in the NW red and pink. Knitting a simple straight forward sweater intended for Valentines but didn’t make it quite in time, the color combination sure makes me happy.

 

Maybe with all this “wrongness” one can piece out one’s own personality and uniqueness, that following tradition and rules don’t always work…maybe seeing things from a different view or perspective pushes us to open our heart a little more? Being creative and not like sheep in a flock accepting that there is beauty in everything especially in individuality.

It’s all how we see things.

I heard that red and pink don’t go together.

But see…. everyone got me all wrong- all the time it was 
pink and red!

Good at doing hard work

Penelope Trunk told me I was good at doing hard work.

Coming from her I felt as if I won an award.

Known for being brazen and brutally honest, she has brought clients to tears.

As I reflect on those words- it makes me feel strong as if my inner Viking can seize the day at any given moment.

Surely this been a hard week,
 our parenting skills firing on all cylinders and tested our compassion for the "teen years"
Smiling, thru my tears I can share a few highlights, living in a very small mountain town "where everyone knows you're name"-  I will make this short and simple.

#3 got in so much trouble this weekend- a nightmare looks dreamy to me.

The past couple of days, the police has been involved, new found friends we thought were great- ended up being a REALLY BAD INFLUENCE, epic amounts of lying, sneaking out of the house at 1 o'clock at night and blissfully ignorant parents ...a few other things I will keep under my hat.

 Feeling stretched - wondering where the bottomless pit would end, some very hard decisions and conversation I wished never happened more importantly, a few life lessons that would test anyone's patience.

Parenting is the hardest "job" I have ever had, holding our children accountable for their actions, letting them rise to the occasion to figure out how to be responsible while keeping their integrity intact- always treating them with love and respect even through tough times.

As the afternoon progressed we learned more what had happened and what # 3's  role was in this big mess.

Disbelief, in what we heard, disbelief that he got caught

 Tears- on both ends.

Yet, relief.

Relief, knowing we had his back, that he had a safe place to land even when shit hit the fan.

Relieved that we were now in the loop and could now start damage control.

I stood on my tip toes and gave him a hug telling him- that doing the "right thing" isn't always the easiest.

That evening our son went to the "parents" house to apologize. We drove around the neighborhood a few times, it was dark so he couldn't quite recall the house- maybe he just needed that extra minute before he would have to face the music.

His voice fragile, from the back seat asking- will you stand behind me?

We all felt fragile- fragile with the anticipation of the next few minutes.

I responded- always.

Thinking he was tough as nails for doing this- no one wants to see their child scared.

He rang the doorbell and we were greeted- by the parents, introduce ourselves- hand shakes all around. Our son looks them in the eyes, takes a deep breath and begins his apology

with the courage of a Lion

 he offers the most genuine, articulate and sincere apology
 

you could tell the other parents started to melt...unexpected.

Most of us have been young and stupid at sometime and it was comforting to see that they could connect with that-
a few stories from their past, something we all can relate too on some level,
I guess their awkward way of extending our son an olive branch.
 

Glad and impressed that our son had the guts to apologize, the father accepted.

Solo, as non of the other boys that were involved had come forth.

- we said our goodbyes and left friendly terms.

Our son walks the line, head held high - he felt closure that night.

Something hard was done- he was very good at it.

Aware the battle is not yet finished and there is still a long walk up the mountain- I have no doubt he'll make it.

We all slept a little better that night.

And we are all better for having done hard work.