Catching Whispers

Life can throw you for a loop real quick
I know I am not in control
but simply hanging on for the ride
everything in my life as I knew it

I am a fatherless daughter.

I lost my father this month
it's been a roller coaster for 5 long weeks
nothing prepares you
Our relationship was a tough one
we were two crosscurrents
at times it felt as rusty old barbwire
the kind that cuts real bad
but then after a while heals somehow
and leaves behind a scar
 a year ago I forgave him
for the past
the endless years of therapy
clean slate.
and met him where he was at...
He had Alzheimer's
however for me,
that sweetened the deal
he became softer and left a little space for me
and I no longer felt as if I had to hide behind a blade of grass
 we joked 
had interesting conversations
 some times several at one time
Alzheimer's does that
you just roll with it
he would sing
speak in German and Danish
sometimes just a mess
but it was our lovely mess
there are no more conversations
 no one to speak Norwegian with

Grieving him
has been an awakening
all the tears and the emptiness
reminds what is
 what is left
my soul feels raw
a deep breath in a deep breath out
 I stand alone
not so strong yet
but you know what they say about time.....

 an old greeting card that was sent to him from a Hawaiian friend was found
 the words has stuck in my head all week
" Pupukahi "
gather together

 family and friends
dearly around me
trying to protect me
against the pain I am feeling
 Pain throws your heart to the ground
love turns it all around
- John Mayer
difficult time of year to lose someone
 as we celebrate birth and joy to the world
 still a believer of miracles
 the last year was truly a year of closeness and love with my father
a gift
as I watched him pass away
lying my head next to his
draping my arm around his chest
so very fragile
catching his last whispers
Outside the leaves slightly fluttered in the frosty breeze of winter
knowing it was his time
....I let him go....
I love him with all my heart
wishing you all
 this season
 enjoy what you have
 and who you are with
life is so precious
....and what I said about not being in control of your life
well, that's B.S
 you can control some things in your life and turn them around
just breathe and listen to your heart
wishing you all
peace and love


~ Blessings


Today is a grand day
1.  Last year I was victim of check fraud 5 people stole thousands of dollars from me and  from a few other folks in this area -from our mail boxes that are located on our roads....which is part of the rural charm here in the country. These guys hit the jack pot with me- they stole my whole check box newly ordered from the bank that I never received. For weeks they wrote out checks in my name, had fake drivers licenses made in my name ...all this locally.
I can't express how violated I felt- as if my identity was null and void.
Yesterday the case closed.
She/they pled guilty and have to pay restitution.
2. Visiting Norway this summer- I found out in a very "horrible" way my mamma had cancer. She was in hospital most of the time we were visiting. Needless to say we were all devastated.  She has healed completely and today I am picking her and her husband up at the airport to stay with us for 2 weeks.  If that isn't great enough- she is pondering upon moving to Montucky..so we will be looking at homes while she is here.
Good grief! Does it get any better???????
It's been a hard year - but today...well today, I am smiling from ear to ear. 

Hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you.


Montana Morning

feed horses
kids to school
early a.m. ride
Okay Monday...let's do this!


I'm still learning....

after the rain comes beautiful mornings filled with promise

mid September is pretty neat to still wear flip flops

there is still time for a swim before the snow flies

that the local thrift store holds so many treasures
 like these linen napkins

and as if that wasn't enough...some nice person had dropped off a WHOLE BOX of
large fabric sample from France- that I bought for 5 bucks

 how nice it is that the flowers in my garden are still blooming

how pretty weeds can look with a little morning dew

the advantages of leaving holiday trees up all year
... don't have to put them up this season

how much I really love to sew- and that, " I can do this"

how much I missed Auggie being away at fall retreat for 2 days .... yes, it was only 2 days

and how happy I am when things turn out

 that I can bake delicious zucchini bread
(with a green vegetable the size of a baby python)

" I'm still learning "
Michelangelo, age 87
So how was your week?


...and then - the rain


But the true lover of rain.... has a deep inner enjoyment of the rain, as rain, and his sense of its beauty drinks it in as thirstily as does the drinking earth. It refreshes and cools his heart and brain; he longs to go forth into the fields, to feel its steady stream, to scent its fragrance; to stand under some heavy-foliaged chestnut-tree, and hear the rushing music on the crowded leaves.
 ~John Richard Vernon, "The Beauty of Rain," 1863

 my favorite music that inspires me on this wet day.


Yarn along


is done.
up ward and onward to new projects.
Obsessing over these books:
What are you knitting?
 Joining Ginny



Montana Morning

Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment.
-Thích Nhất Hạnh


morning light
blue sky
Wishing you a peaceful morning


Sundavia Pearl


 This spring I have been working hard on jump starting my passion for creating.  I started selling and marketing my collection of vintage clothing. Ever since I was a kid I have worn vintage- but not really called it or acknowledged it as "vintage" or a "piece" it was just fun clothing that I would mix up- with the rest of my wardrobe. Looking back a pictures of chef and I in California I was always wearing vintage dresses.
I have a shop locally " Sundavia Pearl" here in Columbia Falls.
 "Montana Woman"  had a huge fashion show this summer and they featured Sundavia Pearl summer collection - there has been a wonderful response both to the collection and fashion show. So much so that they wrote an article on me here at Station 8 Blog and there will be a 2 page spread in the upcoming issue about my business.
..."now were cookin' with peanut oil"
Phil Robertson
Needless to say it been amazing, exhausting and absolutely wonderful - here is the interview if you would like to read ....Sundavia Pearl Clothing
Have great weekend.