September Yarn Along

A Norwegian sweater in progress, using yarn I bought in Geilo at the supermarket 2 years ago and yarn I naturally dyed with rhubarb, walnut hulls and Saxon Blue, it's a perfect soccer knitting, TV watching sweater- it will take it's its time- I'm in no rush.
I have just started reading Trust the Process by Shaun McNiff, I am hoping to get some creative juices flowing again.

 Joining Ginny today



Gardening requires lots of water — most of it in the form of perspiration.
~Lou Erickson

 A garden is always a series of losses set against a few triumphs, like life itself.
~May Sarton
....and that sums up my garden experience this year.
I have decided that vegetable gardening is not for me. My life is simply too busy with more interesting things than weeding. I refuse to use chemicals and so...the weeds win again. My flowers did awesome but my veggies became overtaken by weeds. I was just too busy enjoying my family and what Montana has to offer in the summer time that the weeds moved right in. That's ok. Next year I will be supporting the local farmers market, maybe even do a CSA again.



Fall Knittering


I had all this sock yarn odds and ends so I thought I would do something clever and knit it all up into one big scarf. I love it because it is so random and very easy to knit. It will take me some more time and I have from here to the pacific in loose ends to weave in- but that's o.k. Hopefully it will be done by the time the snow flies.

I am also rekindling a past love of spinning. I have a beautiful spinning wheel from NZ an " Aurora"  Majacraft- a megathon of roving has been dyed and a lofty goal has been made... spinning enough yarn for a sweater this year- if this works and I can complete this goal I might do it every year as a tradition?
I was asked if single ply would hold up well as a sweater.
I have always loved the rustic look of singles- it will not hold up as well as a plied yarn but I am too dang impatient to spin extra yards for this. Besides I like to knit, so knitting a yearly "new" sweater because the this one bit the dust is just fine with me.

Cookie anyone?



La Cucina

Well that's it folks
 as promised here are a few pictures from this spring kitchen remodel.
It was tough felt like camping with six people-
 would I do it again?
 in a heartbeat.
 Amazing the first time in our lives to have a kitchen that functions and works with the way we live. Knocking down the wall between the kitchen and dining room making it one big space
 all the natural light streaming in is so wonderful.
 What you're not seeing is that we added ceiling solar tube over the kitchen counter-
another cool thing-
 I just started turning on the light as Montana goes into winter dark mode- the tubes let in so much light even on a dark day it feels good.
 I have SAD syndrome so any extra light is much appreciated-
the tubes were also at a relative low cost.
 Our kids love the breakfast bar and all the room around the counters and the island counter space- great to gather around with friends.
  the book shelf holds an assortment of cooking books.
I came home from New Mexico when the renno started
so I asked for a few beams to be added to our living room ceiling
difference- so cozy
 well worth it and I feel like a brought a little of Santa Fe to my home
I designed the kitchen with input from chef 
kept it simple and ergonomic so there was no need for a designer to get involved- money saved
Pierre picked the granite, reminds me of Norway-
 just love the simple grey with little specks of red garnet
 we are 100 % satisfied.
 If you are planning a kitchen remodel
 do it
 you won't regret it.


Time on hold


we put time on hold
and let this all this rugged beauty
softly fill our souls
 the way mother nature only knows how


Inhale peace exhale love


 Our oldest went off to college.

 One day you come home from the hospital with this perfect little being and your whole life changes the next minute you're driving with this handsome man off to college?
Excuse me...who said you could grow up?!
Chaotic to get to this point- but we launched our oldest into the deep blue with one big jump off the diving board.

I have been practicing inhaling and exhaling a lot.
 No one tells you how traumatic it is to say good bye to your son.
 They have all kinds of wonderful books on preparation of having a baby and the "terrible" toddler years ( which mind you, weren't all that terrible) but couldn't find much material out there on how to "How to prep your parents for kids leaving for college"

 How do you get "accustomed" to a hole in your heart?
 I don't think I signed up for this....did I?

 I am very close with my children- I have four so obviously something went right ...or very wrong, either way I enjoy my children- I love them unconditionally with all my heart.
They make me laugh, they make me mad, make me think, they surprise me, they make me worry  ... all such a huge part of my life that when one of the ducklings flew out of the nest -
I cried and cried.....I couldn't stop crying and cried some more.
We now have a river on our property.

He is doing very well and adjusting to college life supremely. I couldn't be happier and more proud of him... It all ended well as intended, we all made it.

With a hole in my heart I tried seeking some council from my therapist ...great news, she told me that  I won't die from it.
 - I am so glad you charged me a whopping 70 bucks to give me that piece of advice.

(this is a summer rafting picture- not to be mistaken as college life...though I do wonder, ehem.)

I homeschooled my kids, read, skied, baked, swam, traveled, wiped tears gave out daily hugs- sometimes hourly hugs, the list goes on- I really enjoy being a mother. I know some parents leap for joy when they can head out to work or do the monkey dance when school starts after summer vacation nothing wrong with that...but I'm not that in that category, not having siblings and 2 parents living on 2 different continents I was lost and lonely as a child growing up- having a family makes me feel whole, I love being part of a clan.

Slowly I am finding comfort in my new daily routine sans the oldest. Parenthood never goes away it just changes and I think that was what was so scary it felt like a divorce.
Stunned and lost describes it pretty well too.
Daily conversation around the dinner table has changed, we phone or text. The other day hubby and I were driving up the mountain, Jules called- we put him on speaker phone, it's still a meaningfull conversation between us - just different- on speaker phone in the truck going up the mountain

Now when he comes home on some weekends and spends loads of time with friends and his girlfriend...the trick is you invite them ALL for dinner...pretty clever, we all get what we want. It works, it's different but still wonderful.

Letting go is hard, change is hard but seeing this beautiful human  blossom into such an incredible and independent young man, nothing fills my heart more.
I will be ok.

I guess the darn therapist was right...I won't die from it either.
~ addendum ~

 I have  wanted to write this for some time...I guess the words finally came.
3 more kids and will most certainly be feeling the same way as they all fly from the nest- maybe the first is the hardest- who knows, I'll keep you  abreast of the situation - until then
....inhale peace exhale love

(Thank you all for such kind and welcoming comments on the prior post)




If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey

Still... a lack of words
 so I'll let the images speak

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton