2/25/16

Perfection kills creativity

Have no fear of perfection — you'll never reach it.
~ Salvador Dali

 Perfection kills creativity.

 I have been noticing especially this year 2016 how much perfection is a “bully” how it kill’s joy and creativity in my life, let me explain.
 As a knitter I find some yarn (I go for the yarn first) then find a pattern, I try to pair them up both as best as I can, because I never do anything by the book….then as the sweater progress the angst sets in. I see that this is not perfect. I have knit the body and as the sleeves are coming along it’s either not enough yarn or the yarn I chose doesn’t look as good as I thought it would.

And it becomes another half knit sweater in the half knit grave yard.

Pattern, something I look to for inspiration and also seek perfection- if I only use this lovely pattern it will be perfect. But it doesn’t. It’s no fun when this disappointment strikes again. As a kid I never used patterns and I wore every gosh darn sweater I knit- because I wasn’t seeking perfection I was creating, enjoying that process. And that was the journey not the end goal- perfect.


I tried out baking for some time this fall I even enrolled in a fancy French pastry school online. The pictures looked perfect, I checked my ingredients once, twice three times to make sure the measurements where correct too. It truly is a miracle I have any hair left on my head after pulling out locks at a time. The cookies, cakes, puff pastry N.E.V.E.R came out as expected, they were either taste less, undercooked or could be used at building material (hard as a brick). When I was a kid baking was fun, mom and I would bake “boller” or something easy and even if it wasn’t the prettiest sweet rolls in town- it was still pretty sweet because again I wasn’t looking for perfection-  I enjoyed the warm soft cardamom flavored buns with hot cocoa....and whip cream.
 
I am also finding this now as I have started to paint. I am petrified of screwing up- making the ugliest marks on my canvas- even starting a canvas I feel as if I need a good shot of whiskey or two.
What is with this???
 It’s a white cloth stretched over a wood frame and I am too scared to touch it with paint in fear of not being good enough- so I either verbally beat myself up or I walk away with my heading low 
-from something that is supposed to be fun and enlightening not to mention creative!

 " Thank you perfection for draining all that is good in my life – creativity."

 So I gave up!
- I can’t win.
Perfection is simply unattainable.
IT'S SO FREEING!

  As I am knitting a red & pink sweater-  you know, these colors “don’t go together” there is really no pattern to this sweater so I am just having fun, though a mindless easy knit- it is giving me pleasure to sit and knit listening to music or talking with my kids instead of counting stiches and tensing up for the probability of a crappy end result.


Baking – even though I have a few good recipes I found a fabby lemon pound cake ( box cake)  Krusteaz, takes 5 min. and we all have something wonderfully lemony and yummy to enjoy with our tea.
I don’t really care anymore- I make the cakes that I know and bake well or the simple cookies-
Not here to impress any one and man, it’s such a relief.
My kids compliment me on the baked goods and that’s all that matter anyway- weather it’s from scratch or a box.


Now the painting- well that’s tough- I see it and myself as a work in progress…baby steps. Lots color exploration and marks what will become of it, I don’t know – challenge is good.

I try to ease up and let myself go…slow and steady wins the race.
 

I will get off my soap box now, thank you for reading.
May you all enjoy a most beautiful creative day as you see it.
 
You see, when weaving a blanket, an Indian woman leaves a flaw in the weaving of that blanket to let the soul out.
~Martha Graham





 

 

 


21 comments :

  1. Your words are so true. Perfection causes such anxiety too. I am finding that as I get older I am managing to let go of perfection. Your painting and colours look gorgeous. I hope you are enjoying the course.x

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    1. Yes, anxiety - exactly. I am working on letting it go and feels good!
      Xo

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  2. At least you are actually DOING some things, even if you don't think they are perfect. I *think* about doing things like painting... And I saw the Krusteaz lemon cake mix the other day and almost grabbed it. Now I will for sure :-D.

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    1. Yes sometimes I just throw caution to the wind, I just don't care so much anymore - buy the the lemon cake, you won't regret it... Might even call close to perfection ;)

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  3. starting a painting is the hardest part. start with a clear mind, play your music loud and lose yourself. overthinking kills the openness and creativity needed to start a piece...there is time for thinking and making sense of things once you have spilled yourself onto the canvas. happy painting, knitting and baking!

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    1. I am so trying this - just reading your words is freeing. I don't even think it's about the painting for me , the finished product... It's letting go.
      Xo

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  4. so much beauty, Camilla! colors, words, ideas, all of it. xx

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  5. Your sweater and paintings look lovely. You have the right idea about letting go of perfection. If a project ends up being perfectly fun to make that's all the perfection one needs.

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    1. Yes, I agree it's all about the journey - it has to be fun!
      Xo

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  6. I agree with every word you've said here; I made myself unhappy for years comparing myself to others online. Fear of making mistakes and having to be perfect first time is stifling; now I just knit and crochet for myself for fun; every bloody thing I've made contains mistakes, big or small. I don't think I've made one perfect thing yet! But every one of them contains a memory of some kind.xx Have fun with your painting.

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    1. I love your comment Donna - your my kinda gal!
      Xo

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  7. I think that is why I haven't pulled out the watercolors I bought. I am a perfectionist and it will pain me to see my beginnings.. I love how you are freeing yourself little by little and I will learn from you :)

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    1. Get the water colors out - it's scary but you will love it . Being the master knitter that you are I am sure you create some beautiful with your brushstrokes.
      Xo

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  8. It is so cool that you continually are trying something new, Camilla. And I bet no one but you would even notice any imperfections. Krusteaz makes good stuff, that's about as domestic as I get in the kitchen.

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    1. I figure I only live once - I want to explore as much as I can what life has to offer. Yes it's awesome to be a " relaxed" domestic diva and bake from the box ;)
      Xo

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  9. I hope that writing about it gives you a different sense of perspective which allows you to come a little nearer to come to terms with perfectionism. It can be stifling.

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    1. Stifling ... another great definition. Yes writing about , putting words on my feelings, helps!
      Xo

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  10. There is no room for learning when everything is perfect...so give me imperfection any day!!! Love this post and I love your art work.xoxo

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  11. Oh that's so true! I have the same feeling sometimes. And I hate it. It's not only in knitting and sewing and cooking- today you get the feeling that either you do something perfect or you just have to leave it. How sad. If you can't sing perfect, if your football skills are not the greatest, if your language skills are not the best you get the feeling that you should better leave it altogether. Where does that leave the fun part? I try to tell myself and especially my kids that they should enjoy doing something- even if they are not perfect, even if they won't win the race, even if the end result is not the greatest.
    By the way- I love your art work. Love the colours and patterns. So full of life.

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  12. Oh wow! Love the colors in this post! Very inspiring.

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