The familiar sinking feeling of misplacing my compass.
What am I supposed to do?
Where am I going, what motivates me to blaze a trail and forge forward, gone.
A time to find a quiet spot and just
to exist in that space.
Loosing my father was WAY more traumatic than I ever thought.
....I lost my way
( you can guess which one is me)
I turned 47.
Still feeling like I am 11.
First birthday without dad.
Spending endless time in the park.
The quiet is beautiful.
The winter snow melting making way for blue summer skies and sunshine
the promise of warmer days to come so I can immerse myself in the lake once again.
My beautiful garden that my mother is always so lovingly and kindly weeds and gets spring ready.
...and of course the Great Escape to Hawaii this spring
a beautiful and exotic place that fills me up when I am worn down by the long Montana winter.
Kona Coast is where we stayed- experiencing lava and snow at the same time is wild.
The world is truly beautiful and nature never stops to blow me away.
Our favorite beach on the island was Mauna Kea.
Turquoise water with slow swimming sea turtles and crashing waves.
Feeling weightless in the salty sea- floating.
Soft and warm sandy beaches.
I think I checked out for a while.
..and somewhere on the bottom of the ocean
my husbands wedding ring.
Yes, he lost it jumping in the waves.
The smiles and laughter on my children's faces- just the pure enjoyment of being a family
spending time together.
This is Carl.
I love Carl.
He stole my heart.
A highlight of the trip.
Back to Montana where my heart is.
The wild and rugged.
Snow capped mountains and fresh air.
good to be home
...all to find out that my Luther Vandross has lung cancer.
He has a tumor in his lung the size of 1/3 of his heart and has 4 - 12 mos to live.
So next week we are packing up the car and driving to Pullman Veterinary hospital in Washington
to try to save his life.
If the surgery goes well, my lovey can have 3-5 good years left.
I can't bear to loose one more family member.
I am here, I am alive and I am strong.
a few rough patches
with a whole lot of love sprinkled in
I will find my way
..oh, yeah did I tell you?
I found my compass...
it was in right hand pocket all the time.