...it's shaping up

Early morning
 still dark outside and cold
 snow on the ground
Heading out to my first Buck Clinic
 it all started for me in New York
 this was the day
 I would finally experience everything in person
a dream
The bleachers were cold
Jesse told me where to sit to get a good view
 a veteran of Bucks clinics he knew a thing or two
 he would always talk about Buck when shoeing my horses
telling me how special he was and how it was hard to grasp what he was teaching in the beginning
Country music was playing over the speakers
 the vaqueros came out on their horses
and started warming up
 then....there was a hush
I held my breath
 in he came
complete silence
 everyone just watched
the dance
One of the biggest moments of my life-

Determined to get a good seat and soak it all in, I was the first one in that cold arena for 3 days.

 the hell Buck has been thru- and to have come out on the other side
....blows me away.

There is nothing but kindness, respect and a big heart- especially for horses...but also for humans.
The wisdom, attitude and perspective he has on life has helped heal so many - me included.

Years ago I had a horrible accident on my horse -  yes, it involved the emergency room - eventually selling my horse and not riding for decades, because of fear.

“They say nerves heal real slowly. Lots of things about us heal real slowly.” 

Nothing was the same- I hated being such a coward, so overcome by fear- taking me away from the one thing I loved more than anything in life- horses.

I am riding again because of Buck.

Here in Montana with my 2 lovies- all 2500 lbs of them - each day there is something new to learn something new to discover, the connection we have - they are my family.
The love I have for them fills my heart and soul - I would have never hoped or ever dreamed of this.

....and now having experienced Buck and his way

I have truly come full circle.

In life, we don't know why things happen. I believe God is not responsible for the bad things that happen to you. Sometimes I think He's responsible for the good things, but sometimes it's something you shape up for yourself.” 

life has it's twists and turns
 and yes,
I believe life is shaping up


  1. I am so touched y this post. I think we all live in fear and embracing life ignoring the fear is hard. I'm glad you ride once more and you've reunited with what brings you joy-that is living life to the fullest!

  2. What a wonderful and beautiful post, it brought a lump to my throat. Well done you for getting away from the fear, you look lovely with your gorgeous horses. It inspires me to think about riding again too. x

  3. I watched the documentary on Buck last year. What a fascinating and inspirational person. I wanted to go to his clinic and I don't even ride! How cool that he was able to help you.

  4. With tears in my eyes and a huge smile grinning at the screen I want you to know how inspiring this is to me and just how much I needed to read this. I almost died a few months ago and it has been really tough going to get to where I am now. We all need a buck or a Camilla in our lives. Sunshine and hope that is what you and your blog mean to me. You are a very beautiful person and I mean that both inside and out. xoxo Bobbie

  5. Such a heartwarming post Camilla and I love seeing your beautiful face.
    I wish you could get together with my son Charlie and his wife Ashley, y'all share such a love for horses that it's amazing. Charlie has a horse that he dances with and I love to watch.
    I am so happy for you and am looking forward to many years of watching you and your babies.

  6. Such a heartfelt and beautiful post. I am so happy you are back riding, and you can tell how much joy it brings you in those photos. Twists and turns make us stronger, we just have to find our way through them, and it sure looks like you have. All the best xo

  7. I think I need to learn more about this Buck.

  8. Buck is very, very popular in this house and the Red Bean's bucket list is to take a workshop with him!

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