1/19/15

Rewilding my heart



Rewilding my heart ... not in the sense of something in nature
 but in my nature
 
 This weekend I tried a new ski run on the mountain- steeper, more challenging
I went faster avoiding the skiers ahead.
Yes, I could have slowed down, played it safe stuck to the side.
But I didn't...instead I let the wind catch my braids
 beautiful fresh cold air caressing my face I flew down the hill.
Exhilarating
 
Then...
I crashed. Bad.
I fell face first - thank God I wore my helmet.
 
 unfamiliar with getting up from a fall facing downward on the hill
 all my weight shifted to the front
 very difficult in deep snow to get your bering straight
 
Fog horn offered me a ski pole as he yelled "mom fell"
 untwisted my skis and cleaned out my goggles...
 
Frustrated and angry
  I flew down again- damned if this mountain was going to get the best of me.
Again the wind howling the trees whizzing by - I was laughing 
 joyous
wonderful
glorious
snow
wind
feeling wild
 
 I crashed again
 
 Face first
my neck twisted to the side
poles crossed in front and my skis behind me.
 This time I was in shock!
 What?
I cried.
  It hurt
 my ego was bruised.
 
life doesn't always offer you
 a Glory Hole but Hell Fire
 which I just witnessed
 twice in one run!
 
 Crying in pain
I got up
 my neck and shoulders screaming for an ice pack
 spit out the snow in my mouth
 wiped my face
Experiencing what rewilding my heart felt like,
 not always safe, but wild with a side of peril
I felt satisfied
 
It's not what I expected but I got what I deserved
 and it was worth it
 
Rewilding my heart.
 
 

 

32 comments :

  1. Beautiful post, I felt like I was on that run with you. Regarding the popularity of blogs, I think if they are well written with nice photos, there will always be an interest in them. Yours falls into that category; I always check in to see what you have been up to and your photos are great!

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    1. Hi Carol,
      Thank you for your kind words.
      Have great week ahead!

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  2. I love that you have the will power to never give up, and I am thankful you didn't break your neck Camilla. I know nothing about snow skiing, just what I have seen on television, so I have a certain amount of caution that comes with the unknown. Now, put me on water ski's and I'm right in my element! :)

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  3. You have to teach me how to water ski Tracey... Weeeeeeee

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  4. As they say, fall down seven times, get up eight :) Glad to hear you weren't hurt too badly, hope the ice pack helped with the neck and shoulders. I have a feeling you might be visiting that run again...

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  5. I love that phrase....yes, I have a date with that run this weekend ;)

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  6. Gotta love your perseverance. I can imagine how tough it is to run in the snow, but to fall face first twice, then get up and keep going? That's how to get it done!

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    1. Hi Darcy,
      ..yep,sometimes snow can't be all that forgiving...grrr.
      Have a great week :)

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  7. love that... rewilding my heart...not always safe, , but wild with a side of peril !!!
    I can feel your fearlessness through your words.
    I am terrified of going down hills... climbing up is no problem, but sliding down...YIKES.. but someday ?!?

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    1. Hi Erica,
      Once you get used to it is super fun....just like everything else :)
      Come to Montana and ski!

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  8. A new boost, a new challenge ....
    sometimes you need that!
    Fortunately, you haven't broken anything ;)

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    1. Yes a boost and a challenge ...we all need that, no broken bones yay!

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  9. Oh I loved this I too was running that slope with you. Wonderful!

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  10. you are brave and adventurous!! I cannot imagine doing that but then just twisting my ankle while standing has happened and it takes me weeks to recover!! Glad you had fun....I think?! Love that your son was helping you :)

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    1. I know I love that Foghorn was there too - so sweet.

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  11. You're some woman Camilla; I've never been skiing- I'm too much of a scaredy-cat,but I can imagine it is very exhilarating whizzing down those slopes.Thank goodness you're okay! x

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    1. It is fun- and thank you for your kind words
      x

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  12. Lovely to experience this wild run with you, Camilla!

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  13. Bravo for unleashing your wild spirit, Camilla. Despite falling down and hurting yourself, the fact that you got up and spat out that snow then pushed forward is inspiring.

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    1. Yeah sometimes you just have to brush it off and move on- thank you.

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  14. WOW! (this is as close to a ski run as I'll ever get....someday I might tell you about my skiing experience!! hee hee!!! Funny now. Not then!!!!) I felt exhilarated!!!

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    1. I would love to hear about your ski experience- nice that you can laugh about it Steph! ....I'm not there yet, maybe this weekend I will :)

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  15. No words for those photos, OH MY GOD! just wonderfuly beautiful. Hope your neck and shoulders are better. Sometimes good moments aren't found in pleasant ways :)

    Take care!!

    Lluisa xoxo

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    1. Thank you kindly Lluisa... Yes I learned that the hard way :)

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  16. I need to find my helmet before I challenge you to a race! I love going fast, but I'm so afraid that I'm gonna screw up a knee!

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    1. Your on like Donky Kong! I would love to be your ski buddy Jane!

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  17. Falling down and getting right back up again to try once more, it's what it's all about in the end isn't it :)
    Also, I should learn how to ski, sounds like a liberating experience.

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  18. I do love your spirit, Camilla, wow - I felt like I was right there beside you (the closest I'm ever gonna get to you on a ski hill, I'm sure!). Rewilding your heart - I like that, I think I need to give it a try...just maybe not on a ski hill ;) I hope your neck and shoulders are all smoothed out. XOXO

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  19. I admire your sense of adventure, Camilla! Beautiful photos> I've never skied either, kind of a chicken...

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  20. Wow, Camilla, this is a post with heart & tenacity & feeling! I can totally feel all of this (probably because I have in real life, ha!). I think part of my heart could easily be left in those mountains...

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